Hello Reader,
We’ve got to talk. For context, it is currently 10:44pm on Monday, January 8th, 2024. I recently quit my job at Starship that was depressing me, and I’m starting a new job at a bookstore soon. I guess I’m technically unemployed now, but I FEEL FREE! What an amazing feeling. I am sitting in my room in my parent’s house typing this at my desk. My parents are in Africa, and my sister is cooking tuna in the kitchen. It’s cold outside, but the heat is on inside, thankfully.
I am a person that needs context and clarity in order to not go insane, so this is my attempt at that. I’m overwhelmed. There’s a lot going on in the world, and this makes me feel like my problems don’t matter. However, my responsibilities haven’t changed despite the worldly conditions. I’m thinking about how this is not the first genocide, pandemic, or financial crisis to occur in human history. How did other people deal with these things? I’m trying to not feel sorry for myself for being born during this time period. There’s good and bad. But right now, I have many things to figure out and many things holding me back.
How do you know if you’re a good person? How do you know if you’re not a fuck up? Do you have to first adjust for your amount of privilege? I wish there was a universal metric. I want to live in New York and LA for a period of time. I’m learning about how much I doubt myself and how much fear I have in my body. It’s terrifying to be made aware of. I won’t let fear hold me back. I’m not delusional. When I trust my intuition, things work out better than I could’ve ever expected.
The people that you put on pedestals and compare yourself to are losers. You always think you’re not doing enough, but maybe you are. Maybe younger you and older you are proud of you and grateful for the work you’re doing.
I’m aware this is all over the place, so maybe I’ll think of some questions I’ll answer to reflect on each week. Maybe they’ll be these:
What creative projects are you working on currently? What ideas do you currently have? (This is for accountability. Take breaks, but don’t give up!)
What progress have you made on your goals (creative and life)? How are you building momentum? (You better have goals!)
What’s holding you back? What are you struggling with? Why do you feel shitty? What questions do you have? Why aren’t you feeling grounded and why are you doubting yourself? Why do you want to quit, and why are we going to keep going?
What good has happened since the last time we talked? What has inspired you since we last talked? What have you realized that has given you more clarity and peace?!?
Love,
Naima